Picture courtesy of AbuJohn

There are times in life where I would rather be alone; crying out loud for not being able to sort things out and it seems that everything getting worst as days passed by. I am thousand miles away from my family; it doesn’t help either having wonderful housemates as sometimes things are better left unspoken that I know it wouldn’t help much to burden them with unnecessary things.

When I am totally depressed and desperately finding a way out, all I need is just a phone call away, to those who would always accept me the way I am, who would always have their faith in me even though I am totally screwed up.

Once, I was totally lost, things turned worst and there was no turning back, it’s a matter of life or death, all I need is the assurance that everything’s going to be okay, that there are still hopes, life would be better again. The best thing to do at that particular moment was to phone home. And I did.

Upon hearing the familiar voice of Ayah, I cried uncontrollably. I can’t speak a word at all. This familiar voice keep on saying “Hello.. hello” but I can’t answer him. I just can’t. I cried. And cried. And cried. It was then I realized that how much I missed home, how much I missed him, that all I really want at that moment is just to be there, to be with the people who care so much, who would still love me undeniably no matter how dreadful things are, how worst I could be.

Few moments pass by and I simply end my call. Somewhere somewhat I felt a sign of relief upon hearing his voice. He didn’t need to say anything, as I know whatever happens, how terrible things turn out to be, Ayah would always love me, Ayah would always believe in me, Ayah would always be there for me. With the enormous uncountable amount he spent for me to be here, I can’t simply give up and turn away, I need to hold my head up high, and start walking on the right track again.

Ayah, at the age going to be 59, you actually look much older than what you are suppose to be, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you, and I am so proud to be your daughter, you should know that you had never failed me, not even once.

Adik sayang Ayah til infinity.